its hard but not impossible (whole30/facebook abstinence).

after dealing with five failed iuis and gaining a lot of weight from the hormones. i needed to move in a different direction. definition of insanity, right, if i continued in the same direction as i have been going.

ivf is expensive as fuck.

why wouldn’t i try to tame my pcos and hypothyroid (btw, my levels are GREAT according to last week’s test) in the best way that i can?

keto, in my opinion, didn’t make my stomach feel good and i knew with pcos i needed to drop sugar, gluten, and i have always had a sensitivity to dairy that i never like to acknowledge.

whole30 seemed like a great challenge but also a great direction to go in for the month that i am on birth control and, even, leading into my wife’s egg retrieval and my transfer. what makes for the best kind of transfer? a healthy, not inflamed uterus.

so, what is whole30?

apparently, its been a thing that people have known about for years and I am just getting on that train. its a challenge to illuminate specific food groups that have a negative impact on your health and fitness. most of the time, we are so used to these food groups that we don’t realize what it is doing to us.

these food groups are sugar, grains, dairy, and legumes. there is no alcohol, in any form, allowed (which works, because alcohol is a no in the religion i semi follow and makes my body feel extremely out of sorts for DAYS). there is no carrageenan, msg, sulfites, no baked goods or junk foods. there is a ton of time spent in whole foods (grocery of choice right now but not necessary) reading labels.

also, you can’t step on a scale or measure your body. it’s about getting healthy, not losing weight.

there are rules for this challenge like you have to eat only things that are compliant, you can’t make substitute versions of desserts (ex. banana and egg to make banana pancakes), and you have to last the whole 30 days. if you mess up, even on day 29, you have to start over again.

rough, right?

but eliminating these food groups for a full 30 days can help your body heal and recover from the damage caused by these foods. especially if you have a body that has pcos and/or a hypothyroid and it can’t process these things accordingly.

also, its a psychological thing too. i have a bad relationship with food. let’s blame it on a sucky childhood where, sometimes, food was scared or there was only ramen available – and i am still battling these food dependencies. being aware of what i am eating, when i am eating, and eating for nourishment and health versus craving is really healthy to be aware of and gain control.

the whole30 website promises that “this will change your life” and i am praying it does.

i am hoping that it creates healthier habits in our family (trickling down from me, the main cook/grocery shopper in our family, to my wife who isn’t doing the challenge but completely supportive and eating what i make) and also creating a healthier, cushier uterus for these embryos to get cushy in.

feedback from others who are trying to conceive or who have infertility and who did or are doing whole30 during their cycles is really positive. there have been a lot of bfps in these groups – especially from those people with pcos.

apparently, sugar, gluten, and dairy can fuck up our uteruses and cause enough inflammation that embryos don’t like sticking and it can make our hormones even more out of wack.

like, yeah, dear body you suck for having to deal with this but also, its an easy puzzle to solve by introducing rules like whole30.

so, i officially started this past thursday with practice days starting last tuesday. so, officially only 4ish days into this program and it hasn’t been too hard. i have been home, i have access to the kitchen, and i have made more whole foods trips these few days then i have in the entire year.

my body is starting to get used to it – i have dealt with elevated depression, exhaustion – but i am not sure if that is because i am in the “hangover” stage of this program or the hormones from the birth control. i have also noticed a change in my body, though. way less bloating and i am starting to see (and like) what my body looks like without all the processed, sugary foods.

downside, sugary, processed foods have become big parts in my dreams ha.

i feel like with us moving forwards to the big battle – then i must pull out the big guns. i have to work hard, this isn’t going to be easy, and i can’t play like it will be. i have to eat right, be more active (four runs this week!) and hold myself accountable because this is it, this is our big hurrah and my actions matter.

so, our instragram (teamraptorrex) and my snapchat (foodinherbelly) will be filled with photos of meals i have slaved over because those meals are fucking gorgeous and they are also sustaining my body and the future home of our little embryo.

in all of this – i have also given up facebook. i have logged out, blacklisted the site and only allow messages to be received on my phone.

i felt like facebook was a very unhealthy place for me to be. i would obsess over infertility, ivf, and trying to conceive facebook groups. i would research and worry and be exposed to all these negative things when, i needed the opposite. i needed to trust my doctor. i needed to not stress out my wife. i needed not to spend hours pouring over posts in groups or on my wall. it wasn’t healthy.

so, for 30 days, i gave up that vice.

its hard but not impossible.

same with whole30.

its hard – worth it – but not impossible

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Melissa M says:

    I haven’t even finished readi g this post but Keto will change your life! Let me know if you have questions. I’ve been doing it for just over 3 months.


    1. mamaamma says:

      Thank you so much! I appreciate it. I tried keto but it didn’t work for my tummy, sadly. I can’t tolerate diary. I did a few months of research before doing Keto. I’m really getting along with whole 30 though. My body feels really good, thankfully.


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