life was born out of my belly.

My muscles in my abdomen are extremely sore now. My wife said they held me open and pushed and pulled to get the babies out of the six inch cut right above my pubic bone. I’ve held the belief that csections are the absolute latest resort and people shouldn’t give into mindless intervention, but after…

when your postpartum feels co-oped.

Postpartum is supposed to be a very special time. It’s a time of healing and taking care of the new mother and a time to adjust to the new normal. This has been the absolute worst time in my life. The days following my mother’s death was difficult – planning her funeral at 20, writing…

when you’re officially residents of the antepartum ward.

I’m exhausted I’m sleeping a lot more My body is trying to get ready My cervix is barely there yesterday they shoved a donut like device inside me to try to offer it more strength but it’s really the point in the story where we try anything to get one more day. they shoved something…

26 weeks. we made it this far.

It’s been a few weeks I’ve been in the hospital twice. Once, at 23 weeks, for a few nights for bleeding and a bladder infection. Another time, a few days after, for bleeding and then the contractions started. We hit viability in a hospital room. Where I was hooked to five different monitors and meeting…

perfectly currated two first names. 

They have names – perfectly currated two first names each. I’m passionate about their two first names. No hyphen, just two names that slide out of our mouths like a prayer or like poetry that will command others to remember,to learn, to not forget one. They’ll think it’s an inconvenience, I’m sure. While I see…

and things take a turn (fighting lying down). 

we saw these two today. they’re rambunctious and healthy. I was a bit tired of these scans every two weeks. Part of me thought they were useless and overdone but, know what, I’m grateful? These scans check my cervix length and make sure the babies are growing. Up to this 21 week point, my cervix…