more than a body but maybe more than a shelter too. 

They are beginning to hear now. They are seeing, smelling, and they are hearing. They are consuming the words I say aloud and being nourished by the thoughts coursing through my head and, at this point, they are an extension of myself. Connected to my body, feeding off my body, my blood pumping through their…

“be not of those who are shut out as by a veil.”

They vibrate my insides when I walk around too much or drink soda water. I feel it on the outside, my lower belly in specific spots, like there are two small pagers inside my uterus going off at various points in time. Their inch and a half long bodies wiggling around and vibrating my organs….

some answered questions about the babies.

We heard their heartbeats yesterday at our 8-week appointment. We saw them wiggle and wiggle and wiggle. They’re alive. They’re growing. And we can’t help but think they’re magical. We are honoring this time as they grow and grow inside me, but we look forward to the moment that they enter earthside. We have many…

Hey babies!

It is with great excitement that we announce TWO new Raos who are making their appearance in late April/Early May. – We found out while on a trip to the great outdoors four days after our embryo transfer. The line that we got was dark. We tested for days after and the line stayed dark…

the waiting game. 

we are playing the waiting game.  isn’t this all just a waiting game for one thing or another? like we are leapfrogging from one moment to the next?  I feel like for the last year our hearts have lived inside our throats and our bodies are trying to find stability in it’s new normal –…

it’s not settling in. 

my mom has been dead for nearly seven years – october 20th. time doesn’t make it seem any less, it doesn’t heal this wound. time becomes irrelevant.  some days it feels like years without her.  other days, like today, only a few days.  I wish she was here today, yesterday, the day before.  her response…

So, walk on the side of hope. 

We transferred this past Monday during the eclipse. As the moon covered the sun – that exact moment of totality – our doctor inserted two small and perfect blastocyst into my uterus.   It was that simple.   I was positive, spent says imagining these children, and bringing them into existence. And they’re there, today,…

the results!

yesterday was emotional – to say the least. but my wife was extraordinary. she was brave. she was selfless. and she was beyond anything that i could have imagined. going into this surgery had to be scary and you carry a ton of emotion, but i am so proud of seeing how my wife handled…

we have dates!

my wife is powerful. she is courageous and i am constantly grateful for her. we went in for our fourth ultrasound today to check in on her follicles. it’s really interesting, through this entire experience, to watch how this affects her. for so long, it was me going through the hormones and experiencing these ups…

a conversation before & during fertility treatments:

a conversation that they should have with you before fertility treatments: they don’t sit you down and tell you what will change during this process. you are on their time – no control – and you do as they say when they say it. they manipulate your body to work on their time – lowering…