when you’re officially residents of the antepartum ward.

I’m exhausted I’m sleeping a lot more My body is trying to get ready My cervix is barely there yesterday they shoved a donut like device inside me to try to offer it more strength but it’s really the point in the story where we try anything to get one more day. they shoved something…

the waiting game. 

we are playing the waiting game.  isn’t this all just a waiting game for one thing or another? like we are leapfrogging from one moment to the next?  I feel like for the last year our hearts have lived inside our throats and our bodies are trying to find stability in it’s new normal –…

So, walk on the side of hope. 

We transferred this past Monday during the eclipse. As the moon covered the sun – that exact moment of totality – our doctor inserted two small and perfect blastocyst into my uterus.   It was that simple.   I was positive, spent says imagining these children, and bringing them into existence. And they’re there, today,…

she’s not here (when your mom is dead). 

My mom would have wanted to be a part of this.  I sit in bed, forcing myself to try to nap during days, just so I can see her in my dreams. In my dreams, she’s our most supportive person. She’s the person calling to check on us everyday. She’s the person remembering that it…

So, what is reciprocal IVF (RIVF)?

So, what is reciprocal IVF (RIVF)? It is the ultimate form of science. And magic. Well, to sum it up, it’s a pretty magical process. It’s a mixture of science and magic and something that is slightly whimsical and we had previously thought was just right out of our touch. We started out like that…

just because things fail doesn’t mean you do. 

28 Walmart Cheapies 12 Family Dollar Cheapies 12 First Response 1 Blood Test All negative. This cycle failed, but I didn’t fail. My body didn’t fail me. This takes time and for some, there are just different methods needed, more time needed, and thinking outside the box. We have to toil the earth, lay down…

small update because progesterone is holding me down. 

I am currently: 4dpiui (days post IUI) 6dpt (days post trigger)  I started progrsterone Sunday night and life is hell. I’m exhausted, unable to get out of bed, crying, and my body feels horrible.  This “two week wait” is always hard once progesterone starts. I become a hermit. An emotional, exhausted, irritable little hermit.  I’m…

and so the wait begins. 

We had our IUI today at 2ish.  It was stressful due to  nearly two hours of waiting, but it ended up being a super easy IUI.  My darling wife, like before, got to inseminate once the catheter was threaded through my cervix and into my uterus.  I feel good about this.  I feel calm and…

when zika steps into your life plans.

we had to sign an official form with our clinic that i will not travel to the southern states or any place with confirmed zika cases. if we want to use my wife’s eggs for reciprocal ivf, she has to be eight weeks (according to our doctor, preferably six months) past any travel into these…

the sun has a certain power (our fifth, last iui).

I have spent a lot of time outside lately – gardening, running, walking throughout our neighborhood, sitting in a hammock at the park – and there is a fullness inside me. I think it is because of the sun. The sun grows. It settles deep into my skin and fills my body and helps grow,…