welcome back.

it’s been a while. i hope that we can get to know each other again. 

when you’re officially residents of the antepartum ward.

I’m exhausted I’m sleeping a lot more My body is trying to get ready My cervix is barely there yesterday they shoved a donut like device inside me to try to offer it more strength but it’s really the point in the story where we try anything to get one more day. they shoved something…

and things take a turn (fighting lying down). 

we saw these two today. they’re rambunctious and healthy. I was a bit tired of these scans every two weeks. Part of me thought they were useless and overdone but, know what, I’m grateful? These scans check my cervix length and make sure the babies are growing. Up to this 21 week point, my cervix…

the hardest (most beautiful) thing I’ve ever had to do. 

(Unedited mobile post. sorry for wonky formats.)  I made it to 20 weeks. I feel that we are more than halfway here. I have two babies, my goal is 36 weeks. Anything after is extra (torture for me but great for these two little guys).  I’m currently sitting in a room in my Midwives’ office…

17/40 (goal 17/36)

Currently see hospital-based midwives, MFM, and an OB nearly every week. We know the sex – with all the ultrasounds, it was very easy to tell. We know their names. We hired a photographer (Monet Nicole Photography) and a doula that specializes in hypnobabies. Both babies are healthy and thriving. They continue to measure a…

more than a body but maybe more than a shelter too. 

They are beginning to hear now. They are seeing, smelling, and they are hearing. They are consuming the words I say aloud and being nourished by the thoughts coursing through my head and, at this point, they are an extension of myself. Connected to my body, feeding off my body, my blood pumping through their…

Birth is always on my mind.

Birth is always on my mind. I saw the photos from my own birth when I was five or six. They were in this old album, stuck to the pages, that presented this story about how strong this seventeen-year-old girl was to push out this six pound and seven-ounce baby. She had a unmedicated birth…

Will they always be like this?

I made it to twelve weeks (well, as of today, twelve weeks and two days). My stomach is swollen like I ate an inflated kickball and I’m wondering if it is measuring more like twenty weeks if it was a singleton. There are certainly two babies in there. They are active, two and a half…

the intensity of pregnancy dreams.

Ever since I was a very small child, I have had vivid, lucid dreams. They played a huge role in my ability to world build throughout my childhood and have helped my foundation as a storyteller. As of now, at 27, I can remember hundreds of dreams in my childhood. My oldest is a dream…