So, walk on the side of hope. 

We transferred this past Monday during the eclipse. As the moon covered the sun – that exact moment of totality – our doctor inserted two small and perfect blastocyst into my uterus.   It was that simple.   I was positive, spent says imagining these children, and bringing them into existence. And they’re there, today,…

so, how do you pray (meditate/center yourself)?

i am trying to make it a habit of waking up and praying.  i’ve only done this consistently in the last few days. [What is your favorite prayer? Quote? Meditation mantra? Reminder for yourself? Are there any you could share with me? I would certainly appreciate having them, writing them down, during this process. ]…

she’s not here (when your mom is dead). 

My mom would have wanted to be a part of this.  I sit in bed, forcing myself to try to nap during days, just so I can see her in my dreams. In my dreams, she’s our most supportive person. She’s the person calling to check on us everyday. She’s the person remembering that it…

race will always play a part.

Choosing a donor is a very intimate, strategic process. It is different for everyone going through this process but the main similarity is that you want someone healthy. For us, we have very specific requirements: the donor needed to reflect the one who’s eggs aren’t being used (physically and mentally), they needed to have a…

and here we go.

We had our baseline today. It was the first time that my darling wife had an ultrasound and she was fantastic. Seeing her up on the table this time instead of myself really drove everything home – this is happening. We are going through with this. I couldn’t be more overfilled with emotion. I am…

So, what is reciprocal IVF (RIVF)?

So, what is reciprocal IVF (RIVF)? It is the ultimate form of science. And magic. Well, to sum it up, it’s a pretty magical process. It’s a mixture of science and magic and something that is slightly whimsical and we had previously thought was just right out of our touch. We started out like that…

just because things fail doesn’t mean you do. 

28 Walmart Cheapies 12 Family Dollar Cheapies 12 First Response 1 Blood Test All negative. This cycle failed, but I didn’t fail. My body didn’t fail me. This takes time and for some, there are just different methods needed, more time needed, and thinking outside the box. We have to toil the earth, lay down…

small update because progesterone is holding me down. 

I am currently: 4dpiui (days post IUI) 6dpt (days post trigger)  I started progrsterone Sunday night and life is hell. I’m exhausted, unable to get out of bed, crying, and my body feels horrible.  This “two week wait” is always hard once progesterone starts. I become a hermit. An emotional, exhausted, irritable little hermit.  I’m…

and so the wait begins. 

We had our IUI today at 2ish.  It was stressful due to  nearly two hours of waiting, but it ended up being a super easy IUI.  My darling wife, like before, got to inseminate once the catheter was threaded through my cervix and into my uterus.  I feel good about this.  I feel calm and…

not going to throw away my shot (cue Hamilton).

Last night I had my trigger shot.  Okay, I feel like ‘had’ is down playing what happened last night. I feel like it doesn’t explain the scene that occured when my wife walked into the door after work.  For our past IUIs we had trigger shots at various times. We have 24 hours before IUI,…