life was born out of my belly.

My muscles in my abdomen are extremely sore now. My wife said they held me open and pushed and pulled to get the babies out of the six inch cut right above my pubic bone. I’ve held the belief that csections are the absolute latest resort and people shouldn’t give into mindless intervention, but after…

when your postpartum feels co-oped.

Postpartum is supposed to be a very special time. It’s a time of healing and taking care of the new mother and a time to adjust to the new normal. This has been the absolute worst time in my life. The days following my mother’s death was difficult – planning her funeral at 20, writing…

it’s as if they just fell out of me.

there will be a moment when I sit down and talk about the events leading up to their birth and their birth. but today I’m acknowledging that they’re here. they came quickly Sunday morning. thao vishnu. raja anu. 27 weeks. 5 days. They’re perfect. And strong. And as each day passes my heart stretches to…

when you’re officially residents of the antepartum ward.

I’m exhausted I’m sleeping a lot more My body is trying to get ready My cervix is barely there yesterday they shoved a donut like device inside me to try to offer it more strength but it’s really the point in the story where we try anything to get one more day. they shoved something…

26 weeks. we made it this far.

It’s been a few weeks I’ve been in the hospital twice. Once, at 23 weeks, for a few nights for bleeding and a bladder infection. Another time, a few days after, for bleeding and then the contractions started. We hit viability in a hospital room. Where I was hooked to five different monitors and meeting…

and things take a turn (fighting lying down). 

we saw these two today. they’re rambunctious and healthy. I was a bit tired of these scans every two weeks. Part of me thought they were useless and overdone but, know what, I’m grateful? These scans check my cervix length and make sure the babies are growing. Up to this 21 week point, my cervix…

17/40 (goal 17/36)

Currently see hospital-based midwives, MFM, and an OB nearly every week. We know the sex – with all the ultrasounds, it was very easy to tell. We know their names. We hired a photographer (Monet Nicole Photography) and a doula that specializes in hypnobabies. Both babies are healthy and thriving. They continue to measure a…

Birth is always on my mind.

Birth is always on my mind. I saw the photos from my own birth when I was five or six. They were in this old album, stuck to the pages, that presented this story about how strong this seventeen-year-old girl was to push out this six pound and seven-ounce baby. She had a unmedicated birth…