when you’re officially residents of the antepartum ward.

I’m exhausted I’m sleeping a lot more My body is trying to get ready My cervix is barely there yesterday they shoved a donut like device inside me to try to offer it more strength but it’s really the point in the story where we try anything to get one more day. they shoved something…

26 weeks. we made it this far.

It’s been a few weeks I’ve been in the hospital twice. Once, at 23 weeks, for a few nights for bleeding and a bladder infection. Another time, a few days after, for bleeding and then the contractions started. We hit viability in a hospital room. Where I was hooked to five different monitors and meeting…

the hardest (most beautiful) thing I’ve ever had to do. 

(Unedited mobile post. sorry for wonky formats.)  I made it to 20 weeks. I feel that we are more than halfway here. I have two babies, my goal is 36 weeks. Anything after is extra (torture for me but great for these two little guys).  I’m currently sitting in a room in my Midwives’ office…

more than a body but maybe more than a shelter too. 

They are beginning to hear now. They are seeing, smelling, and they are hearing. They are consuming the words I say aloud and being nourished by the thoughts coursing through my head and, at this point, they are an extension of myself. Connected to my body, feeding off my body, my blood pumping through their…